The presentation you gave to the senior leadership team this morning may have created confusion about our strategy. “Alex and Stacey, I want to talk with you because I have some concerns. Here’s an approach to giving negative feedback that is transparent and increases you and your direct reports’ ability to learn from the feedback: You can use this three-question transparency test in any situation to determine whether your strategy is unilaterally controlling.Īvoid the Sandwich: Use an Effective, Transparent Strategy And they are less effective than transparent strategies. Unilateral control strategies only work when the other people don’t know your strategy or are willing to play along. Do you find yourself laughing at the absurdity of making your strategy transparent? If you think “I could never say that,” it’s because the strategy is unilaterally controlling: it is an attempt to control the situation without letting Alex and Stacey in on the plan. I’ll end with more positive feedback so you won’t be so disappointed or angry at me when you leave my office. I’ll start with some positive feedback to relax you, and then give you the negative feedback, which is the real purpose of our meeting. You would say something like, “Alex and Stacey, I have some negative feedback to give you. Imagine telling the people your strategy.Your strategy is to start with some positive feedback to relax Alex and Stacey, then give them the negative feedback - the purpose of the meeting - and then end with more positive feedback so they won’t be so disappointed or angry.

Identify your strategy for the conversation.To understand why you’re reluctant to share your strategy, take the transparency test - a thought experiment with three simple steps: Imagine that you plan to use the sandwich approach with Alex and Stacey, two direct reports who just gave a presentation to your senior leadership team. The sandwich approach is designed to influence others without telling them what you’re doing - it is a unilaterally controlling strategy - in other words, a strategy that revolves around you influencing others, but not being influenced by them in return. The longer you talk without giving the negative feedback, the more uncomfortable you’re likely to become as you anticipate giving the negative news your direct reports will sense your discomfort and become more anxious.Įffective leaders are transparent about the strategies they use when working with others. In fact, though, “easing in” creates the very anxiety they are trying to avoid. It’s easier to ease into the conversation with some positive feedback, these leaders say.

Less often, leaders admit that they use the sandwich approach because they’re uncomfortable giving negative feedback. They believe that giving positive feedback with negative feedback reduces discomfort and anxiety. The research shows that feedback - positive or negative - is best shared as soon as possible. But this balance claim disintegrates when I ask, “Do you also feel the need to balance your positive feedback with negative feedback?” It is important to give positive feedback, but saving it to offset negative feedback delays the value of the positive feedback.

These leaders want direct reports to understand that the negative feedback is only part of their performance evaluation. They assume the sandwich approach provides balanced feedback. In addition, they are likely to discount your positive feedback, believing it is not genuine. If you give a feedback sandwich, you risk alienating your direct reports. When I ask - or have them ask - their direct reports how they would prefer to receive negative feedback, almost all of the direct reports say they want just the meat - no sandwich. When I ask these leaders how they know this, almost all of them acknowledge that they simply assume it. They think it’s easier for people to hear and accept negative feedback when it comes with positive feedback.

In my work with leadership teams, the majority of leaders say they have used the sandwich approach to give negative feedback. It’s a common method, but the sandwich approach may be undermining both your feedback and your relationships with your direct reports.įirst, let’s look at why leaders use the sandwich approach and why it doesn’t work. Have you ever used the “sandwich approach” to give negative feedback to your direct reports? You sandwich the negative feedback between two pieces of positive feedback.

Positive vs negative feedback examples